Love, Heartache, What Now?
by money makes me smile
Summary: What if Sara and Nick dated in season one, then broke up? What if, after five years, one of them wants the other back? What will happen if heshe confesses all?[Oneshot]


Okay, so I got bored and decided to take a break from writing just Charmed stories and decided to try my writing skills at a CSI story. I got the idea for this story from a theory Misery had over at TalkCSI. The theory was that Nick and Sara dated, but then broke up, all without anyone knowing. So, this is my take on it. It's sort of short, so forgive me for that. So, um, anywho let's get to the story, shall we:) Enjoy!

Disclaimer: if I owned CSI, you would know because of the lovely amounts of Snickers scenes ;)

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It had been almost five years. Five years since their break up, and yet, everyday Sara Sidle would dream about what would be if that had never happened. If she and Nick Stokes had stayed together, where would they be now? No one knows, and no one will ever know because no one knew. Not a single soul in the Las Vegas Crime Lab had known that the two CSI colleagues dated for two months; two months after the death of Kristy Hopkins, Nick's prostitute 'girlfriend'. Some might say Sara caught him off the rebound, but it was never really like that. The two friends had always been flirting with each other ever since Sara walked into Nick's life.

The female CSI had a feeling that her male associate was going to make a bigger move on her than just flirting. Then fate stepped in. Once Kristy walked into Nick's life, Sara's went down crashing. She was torn up inside, even though she would never let it show on the outside. When the unfortunate death of Nick's girlfriend happened, Sara was surprised that she was a little bit _happy_. Most people would think 'why would she be happy for someone dying?' Well, there's only one answer to that question. It was jealousy. Kristy had something Sara wanted; that something was Nick. With Kristy now dead, Nick needed someone to lean on, and Sara was there for him.

The two went on a couple dates, and then it became serious. Sara was the happiest person in the world, nothing could bring her down. Except, as fate would have it, after about two months of joy and happiness, work got in the way. She would never forget how Nick broke her heart…

"_Sara, this isn't working as well as I thought," Nick said as he paced the locker room. Sara looked at her co-worker and boyfriend._

"_What do you mean? We're doing fine, aren't we?" she spoke, fearing at what he was about to tell her. _

"_Yeah, but work is getting in the way. We never really have time for just us. I'm sorry Sara. Maybe friendship is the best thing for us right now." Nick offered. _

_With tears in her eyes, Sara did the best she could to speak. "Fine," she replied hoarsely. With that, she left the room and carried on with her day as if nothing had ever happened. _

For nights, she had cried and asked herself how this could have happened. But finally, Sara decided that there was no use dwelling over her past relationship with Nick. Unfortunately, it was harder to let go of him then she thought. So, to take her mind off of her ex-boyfriend, Sara turned her attention to another person at the lab; Grissom. She pursued him for a while, but nothing big was really there. Both of them were sucked in to their work, and had no time for a commitment. So, the idea of going after someone else to make Nick jealous went down the drain, and along with it went any hope of getting Nick back. By losing hope, Sara's feelings for Nick went from love, back to just playful flirting… until the events of his kidnapping.

Nick was in a coffin, buried underground. For a long time, all Sara could do was watch the computer screen and see the pain in his eyes. His amazing, deep eyes, which she could lose herself in, were in pain. Watching Nick in the coffin brought back all of the feelings that Sara thought she had gotten rid of. Watching him suffer made her realize that if he died, she would be lost. It was then that Sara knew what she had to do. She had to confront Nick and tell him how she really felt.

It was a lot harder than she thought. Both CSIs were busy with their cases, and even if they did work the cases together, it just didn't seem right to talk about their relationship at the lab. She tried to talk to Nick after hours, but for some odd reason, something always came up. Through all of her frustration, caused by not being able to talk to Nick, Sara made sure not to let it show at work. Regrettably, things didn't go as planned, and she ended up spilling out her feelings one night after shift…

Sara sat on the benches in the lock room after her shift had ended. Thinking she was the only one in the room, the brunette began to sing.

"I can't fight this feeling any longer  
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow  
What started out as friendship has grown stronger  
I only wish I had the strength to let it show."

Unknown to her, however, a fellow co-worker stood quietly in the doorway while he listened to her singing.

"I tell myself that I can't hold out forever  
I said there is no reason for my fear.  
'Cause I feel so secure when we're together.  
You give my life direction.

You make everything so clear."

The CSI standing in the doorway cleared his throat, which startled Sara. She jumped slightly at the sound of another body in the room and immediately turned around to face the culprit.

"Oh God…" Sara said, a bit more than embarrassed. Even though he had heard her sing before, she didn't want Nick to hear _that_ song.

"Hi Sara," his Texan accent somewhat prominent, "nice voice, as always." Nick winked at his colleague.

Sara smiled slightly, trying to hide the pain and embarrassment, "Nick, hey. I thought you left already?" she tried to change the subject quickly.

"So did I…" he replied. Sara raised her eyebrows and sent Nick a questioning look. "Something in me told me I had to come back and find you."

"Find me? Why?" she asked as she began to stand up. She fidgeted with things in her locker until Nick responded.

He scratched the back of his head and walked closer to his once love, "We never got to talk about, um, us."

Sara leaned her head against her locker door, which was still open. "Okay. What is there to talk about?"

"Well you were the one who wanted to talk in the first place, so you tell me." The Texan said, a touch of irritation in his voice.

She took a breath of air and spoke, "I tried, I'm trying," she then slammed the locker door shut, "and I can't. It's like, whenever I try to tell you how I feel, my mind just shuts down and I can't think." Sara snapped back, taking Nick off guard.

"Sara, what do you mean?"

Not hearing Nick's question, she continued on. She was surprised when she heard her voice say, "And I know we're not together anymore, but it hurts me a lot when you look at other women. It's stupid, I know, but I can't help it. Nick…" Overwhelmed with what she had just said, Sara began to cry unintentionally.

"Sara," he sighed. He walked over to where she was standing, and drew her in to a loving hug. "I…I don't know what to say."

The female closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck, "You don't have to say anything. Just being in your arms makes me feel better."

Nick smiled at her comment. Truthfully, holding Sara in his arms made him feel better too. "You know," he started after a few moments of silence, "when I was buried alive, all I could think about was you. I told myself to hold on long enough just so I could tell you exactly how I felt about you, and how stupid it was of me to break up with you."

At that statement, Sara lifted her head off of Nick's shoulder and looked into his deep brown eyes. "What?" she asked, "Do you mean that?" When Nick nodded his head and smiled, Sara wiped her tears and laughed, "Yeah, that was pretty stupid, wasn't it?"

Nick chuckled, "Yeah, it was. Listen, Sara, I've never really told anyone this before, but I think I love you."

Sara stared at her love then started to giggle. "You only _think_ you love?"

"Okay let me rephrase that," Nick thought for a moment then spoke, "Sara Sidle, I love you. I knew it from our first encounter."

Before saying anything, Sara caught Nick's lips in a tender, loving kiss. "I love you too Nick Stokes. So…we back together then?" she asked, although she already knew the answer.

Nick grinned and captured her lips as an answer. "Hope that satisfies as an answer."

Sara nodded happily. "So, throughout the past five years, we've been through dating each other, breaking up, playful flirting, heartache, realization, and admittance to love. What's next on our list of things to accomplish?" she joked.

He gazed into the eyes of the love of his life, "Well, first there's marriage, then a baby, and maybe even one day a dog named Sparky."

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Okay…so the ending was a but crappy, but I've just spent about 3 hours in front of this laptop screen writing this story (and a poem, but we won't get into that, lol). The song Sara was singing was "Can't Fight This Feeling Any Longer" by REO-Speedwagon, which I do not own. And so…there is my first CSI story. Hope you enjoyed it! 


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